Keeping Your Sanity when Your Spouse is Out of Town
My evening duties are pretty light around the Kiddio house–we eat dinner, I clean the kitchen up while Daddio plays with the little ones, then he gets the two older ones to bed while I take care of the easy one baby.
Most of the time.
Like a lot of husbands and wives, though, dear Daddio has the occasional business trip or works late, meaning the evening duties fall to me at the end of an already tiring day (and take so long that they really cut into my evening quiet time!). Through the summer these trips went from short and occasional to long and frequent, making me an authority on keeping the household together while the spouse is gone. Here are some ideas to keep you going when you’re flying solo! (image via eyetwist)
- Don’t cook: Sure, I love putting a nice dinner on the table when Daddio’s there to enjoy it with me, but when he’s gone I draw from my list of ‘kids-eat-free or cheap’ restaurants. This saves the effort and frustration of cooking dinner with the kids, not to mention the need to clean the kitchen after dinner. Better yet, find a friend who’ll go out with you and keep you company while the kids entertain each other. Best of all, pick someplace far away to burn off a little time as you drive!
- Plan an afternoon out: When Daddio’s coming home for dinner we really need to be home by 4:30. When he’s not coming home our priorities change! There’s plenty of time for a late-afternoon trip to the museum, errands I need to run, a playdate at the park with friends (at least when it’s not getting cold and dark by 5!) and a stop for a fun, cheap dinner. It wears everyone out enough that bedtime’s a snap.
- Yay for Movie Night! I avoid letting the kids watch more than a little TV every day because it leaves them all wound up and bickering (not worth the break), but a late afternoon-evening movie night complete with an fun, easy dinner (pb&j, frozen pizza, mac&cheese from a box) and popcorn becomes an event that takes up the whole evening.
- Spend extra time putting the kids to bed…early: Our kids are usually in bed by 7:30 or 8. When Daddio’s gone I’ve been known to move that up by an hour or more, drawing it out with extra books, a long bath, etc. They’re usually so wound down that they’re ready to go to sleep extra early, giving me a few more minutes of peace and quiet in the evening.
- Take it easy on yourself: Single parents do more than anyone gives them credit for. Get to bed early, don’t make yourself do more than you have to, and know that he’ll be back in no time!
What do you do to keep it together when you’re on your own?
I invite my parents over because I am lucky enough to live close to them. If that doesn’t work, I invite my brother or some other single friend with no family responsibilities. They enjoy playing with my kids for one evening and I get some grown-up company.
I could have wrote this post! My hubby works shift work so every other week, I have to handle the homefront. It wouldn’t be too bad if the older two weren’t in so many activities in the evenings, and they are always on the same night.
Somehow we make it through it, and I just have to be thankful for the next week when hubby can do it. LOL
My partner always complains when we go out for dinner when he isn’t there, because we never go out when he is home!
Ooh, thanks for the ideas. My husband is in the military and he’s going to be deployed soon, so I’m always looking for ideas about how to cope with my two under two when he’s gone! We take loooong trips to Target, the library or a book store to kill time in the afternoon with maybe a stopover at a juice place on the way home. Sometimes it just ends in screamy crying though.
yep! these are the rules when daddy is away! they were when i was growing up and are in my house too
I love this post because my husband is working out of town currently and you gave me some great ideas (especially the putting them to bed early one!) Like you, I have found that getting out of our routine and doing fun things makes Dad being away easier on everyone. thanks for the ideas, and I love your blog!
Hehe… The cats away and the mice play… My husband used to travel a lot and now his schedule means that he comes home after the kids are in bed - everynight… It is harder without the help, but we are so much more relaxed when he isn’t home and I try and make it a bit more fun- dinner is easier - maybe just toast or baked potatoes. Bath time is longer and we definitely linger much longer with stories!!!
This is great timing for me - my husband isn’t out of town, but he is working 2nd shift this week. He gets home after midnight, long after the rest of the house has settled down.
I definitely do the long drawn out (with an early start time) bedtime routine - it’s so comforting and relaxing for us! Hubs was nice enough to cook enough food for us to eat off of all week, so I have dinner taken care of each night.
Great suggestions!
Good tips. My husband was recently away for a week, and we were both relieved that that’s not part of his regular job description!
How I so employ the same methods! (At the risk of sounding Jerry Maguire, you validate me!
)
Pizza, Friendly’s, special videos, extra storytime, and occasionally later bedtime (by a small margin!)
Happy to have found you in my BlogHer recommendeds! Will be back!
It’s weird that no one mentioned the most important activity: help mommy make her margarita!
I'm solo a lot because my husband works two full time jobs, back to back. What I've found that really helps me is to stick to a routine. Every night, before bed, I make up a list of what I need to do that day. It helps me stay on task and keeps me sane. Meals around here are always quick & easy. The last thing I want to do is have a kitchen full to dishes to clean up after having the girls all day. Also, I sometimes let the dishes sit in the sink and give myself a break. Sometimes, it's easier to get up after sleeping then to stay up to do them. Oh yeah, I also prep meals while my youngest sleeps so that all I have to do is cook that evening, no chopping, etc. I try to cut myself a break where ever I can.
My husband is currently deployed so I have been employing a lot of your “techniques” plus a lot of chocolate (for me), occasional cereal and pancake dinners, and I have had to get better about asking friends and family for help! And I have a much, much great appreciation for single parents!
My husband travels pretty much every other week for work. (Yeah, it’s FUN.)
I love that you gave tips here that involved slacking a bit (like on dinner and movies and going easy on yourself). It’s pretty much the only option cause it’s HARD.
I give full-time single parents all the credit in the world.
Here are some more restaurants to help you when the hubby is out of town. I do the same thing!
http://coupondivas.com/kids-eat-free/